Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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