All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
