I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
