Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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