Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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