it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize