making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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