Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
