Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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