dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
