home. puking in laundry basket.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
