we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
