god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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