She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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