there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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