Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
