Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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