In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
