"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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