so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
