rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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