She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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