Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
