ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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