I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
