I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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