Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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