do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
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I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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