I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
