dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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