Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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