making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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