please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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