you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize