I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
