hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
