my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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