D3 body, D1 cock
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
