My underwear smells like fireworks.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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