4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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