She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize