There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
