You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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