you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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