last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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