so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
