so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
