She's JV to your varsity
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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