I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
