So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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