Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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