He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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