2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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