It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
