they need to just BURY HIM!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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