Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I wear drunk well.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
