Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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