I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé