So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dating After Heartbreak
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.